All day the question haunts me: what will I write about? Ideas flit about me and I swat at them like they are tiny gnats before I realize they might be the ticket to today's piece.
What will I write about? Will I write about my distracted students -- so eager for the weekend, but still mired down in the difficulties of their calculus test and their econ homework? My boys - the way they want to be close to me, but already know they are supposed to be pulling away? My husband -- how he "dances" with me by standing still and smiling as I twirl around him? Will I write about bedtime -- the bathroom trips, whines for water, one-more-kiss requests and stifled giggles from under the blankets?
I'm not sure today what I should write about. I just know that my heart gets pushed and pulled in seventeen directions each day and by the end I can hardly describe what has happened or how I have felt. I am not sure what to write about, but I know that I am blessed and burdened in such a wonderful way. So many people to love, so many needs to be met. Study guides hidden under notebooks, half-hugs and wrestling holds replacing super squeezes and tenderness, a stiff sway instead of a round-the-room waltz. A mini-battle instead of unblemished bliss.
I am not sure what to write about, but I write anyway. Because sometimes what is is better than what might be.
3 comments:
Your sentences are packed with thoughts, which makes your paragraphs even more packed. I like your writing style!
Stephanie,
Your piece reminds me of Natalie Goldberg's advice to write and write and write, even when you don't know what to write. I often fill a page with meandering thoughts like yours, taking stock of the entirety of a day rather than a specific moment.
Friday was the first day that I had several writing thoughts. At first they felt distracting but then I, too, realized they were part of this practice. I feel an increasing mindfulness as I go through my day wondering, "is this slice today?"
In this piece, I really liked the descriptions from bedtime. I laughed out loud! More, please :)
Erin
Found this while exploring your blog(s).
"Keep tangling and interweaving and taking more in"
I think that matches this post well.
Happy Slicing,
Erin
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