2013 Come and Gone

Another entire year passed with only two blog posts.  I wonder if I should even continue to have this blog when it obviously gets neglected.  The busyness of my work and my family certainly contributes to the infrequency of posting, but I also wonder if there is still purpose here.

Upon returning tonight, I see there is. If for no one else but myself. I read posts from years ago and marvel that so little has changed or, the very opposite, I read and question, was that really me? And something tells me that whenever we are brave enough to share our story, the world is better for it.

So, as 2013 comes to a close, I have been searching for my new One Little Word. Over the past few years I have selected discover, reach, and courage. Each of those words came to play a significant role in my thinking and feeling for that year, so I wanted to be careful and sincere as I chose the OLW for 2014.  I have decided on cultivate and I cannot tell you how thrilled I am about it.  Already it has given me a fresh perspective and made me take some bold steps in new directions.

I love that cultivate combines the optimism of creation with the reality of discipline.  To cultivate requires a plan, a vision for what could be.  It also requires work, the action to move that vision from dream to reality.  There is an earthiness to the word as it connotes nature, gardening, farming, growing something of use and beauty.  And there is also a sense of industry, tools and science being utilized to achieve the best results.

It is also the opposite of neglect.

As I take on this word, I am eager to decide exactly what I want to cultivate in my life, what it will take to make that happen and what it will produce in my life and the lives of others.

Anyone else choosing a One Little Word this year?

Courage

2013 is going to be my year.  I can feel it.  In my heart, in my breathing, in everything I do, I know this is it.  I have been building toward this year my entire life.  Of course, that's true for every year, right?  every moment?  Each one is the result of all that came before it.  Maybe now I am just incredibly aware of that. And it is terrifying.

So, my One Little Word for 2013 is courage.

Courage reminds me of The Wizard of Oz. The Cowardly Lion seeking courage was always the character who resonated with me.  I had brains, I had heart, and I had home, but courage??  It has eluded me.  And the Lion is me.  I am not a believer in astrology, but for some reason, my Leo sign always felt like a perfect fit. I always thought it was the lion's mane, since I have a somewhat unhealthy obsession with my hair.  But I think it is also that the lion is the King.  My name actually means, "crowned one." I want to be a leader, I want to be the one in charge.  I want others to be safe and strong in my care. But deep inside, I am a coward.

I fear consequences.  I fear losing. I fear hurting people I love and even more, I fear being disliked because I have hurt them. I fear making mistakes and giving someone ammunition to tear me down and expose me for the fraud I am.  For all my big talk, I feel any bravery others might see in me is a facade.

But no more.  This year, the fear will be quieted and the courage will guide me.  I know the Wizard can't give it to me, but just like the Cowardly Lion, I will find it in my relationships with the people I love, the people who inspire me and probably, the people who oppose me.  My courage will come from my conscious daily choice to live my life informed by wisdom and hope rather than fear and inauthenticity.

In 2013, I am going to live with the courage it takes to be exactly who I am.

OLW 2011

Last year was my first participating in One Little Word. I chose "discover" and while I haven't done much in a physical way (artwork, scrap booking, etc) with my word, I have definitely been coming back to it all year. Essentially, I wanted 2011 to be a year when I discovered more about myself, more about others and more about the world we live in together. As I look back on the last few months, I see discovery was all around me. I learned more about my sons -- what they need (we did love language surveys!) and what motivates them to grow. I have discovered new approaches in my classroom that have transformed not only my grading practices, but the way I view my students, my work and my craft. I have discovered even more to love about my husband, a man who makes me see things in ways I never would on my own. I have discovered that people all around me need kindness and compassion in the most profound way and I am beginning to discover how I can meet some of those needs. I have recently re-discovered my love of reading. It never left, but I was making no time to nurture it. With each book
I have read, I have discovered new questions to ask myself and new lives to carry in my heart and memory.

With "discover" as my one little word, I think I have approached this year with an increased openness which I hope will continue to grow.

Now, to choose a word for 2012... And maybe you, too?

Discover, Drive and Living the Dream

In January I chose "discover" as my OLW (One Little Word) for the year and over the last six months I have constantly had the word on my mind.  I anticipated a year filled with physical discoveries -- new places to visit or new activities to engage in -- but the reality has been discovery of a different sort.  I have found myself discovering an emotional strength I didn't know I had.  I have discovered that some of the qualities I thought were my weaknesses are actually the ones that make me most effective, and in turn, the qualities I thought were my best, might actually be the ones that lead me to my struggles. I think the most important discovery I have made is that I am not the only one. ever.  In any way.  No matter what challenges I face, there are others in the world facing the same ones.  And there are others who have survived these challenges and emerged better because of them.  No matter what success I may have, there are others who have had it, too.  So, I'm not so special.  Or at least, no more or less special than anyone else.  That has been a humbling, comforting discovery for me.

As I have sought to understand myself and my place in the world better, I have been doing some reading. One book I am currently about halfway through is Daniel Pink's Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us.  I have always claimed that teaching is my calling and I have often wondered why it brings me such a deep sense of satisfaction.  I know part of this comes from the relationships with students and seeing them grow and learn, but now I believe part of the joy I get from teaching comes from the autonomy and opportunity to pursue mastery that teaching affords.  Pink says, "Greatness and nearsightedness are incompatible. Meaningful achievement depends on lifting one's sights and pushing toward the horizon." Teaching gives me the chance every day to do that, to push toward the horizon. 


A number of my former students are making this discovery for themselves and beginning to pursue careers which will allow them the autonomy, mastery and purpose that Pink describes as essential for our motivation. I think what they are doing is so wonderful that I had to share.  I have two young ladies I would like to highlight today.



MoDa Specialty Cakes 

The first is Vickie Ramirez who has co-founded MoDa Specialty Cakes with her mother, Lorna.  Vickie recently graduated with her Masters of Business degree from Azusa Pacific University and she and her mother run the bakery out of their home. This  is a very special family and I know the kind of love these women have in their hearts and you can see it in the work that they do. You can check out the MoDa Specialty Cakes Facebook page to see even more pictures of their delicious work.


Marissa K. Fine Art Photography 

 

 Another talented young woman I would like to tell you about is Marissa Andronicos who runs her own photography business, Marissa K. Fine Art Photography.  Marissa is a student at Point Loma Nazarene University, but her business has really grown out of a passion only recently discovered.  The work Marissa does is absolutely stunning.  She has experience with weddings, engagement shoots, senior pictures and family portraits.  I love seeing how she experiments with a variety of locations, props, and poses.  No two shoots look the same because Marissa challenges herself to grow as a photographer with each shoot she completes. One of my favorites was her Huck Finn-inspired shoot.  Marissa is a very smart, gifted young lady.  You can check out her portfolio and follow her blog to see more of her fantastic work.

I hope I can feature more of my former students in the future as they begin discovering what drives them and as the dreams they have for themselves are revealed and then realized.  Thanks to Vickie and Marissa for being willing to share their work!

As the year goes on, I cannot imagine that "discover" will not be a part of my experiences.  I am eager to see how that one little word guides me, impacts me and colors my vision of myself, and the life I live in this wonderful world.

Anybody else seeing their OLW make a difference in their lives?

PS: Is that little jellybean in the pics above not the sweetest??  She is such a doll!

Bullseye

I love it when my life in the classroom and outside of the classroom become indistinguishable.  I have been asking my students to think about their One Little Words in different ways and this week we connected our words to art.  We chose a work of art we felt represented our word and then wrote a piece explaining that connection.  I chose a collage by Charles Farrell and wrote the following piece:


Charles Farrell, Bullseye
First, I see red.  Letters, splashes, fruit skins and flowers.  The red draws me in. The heat of the color makes me feel aggressive, uncomfortable and alive. Next, the white between the images calms me.  It gives me hope.  I see that there is space and deliberateness and order, even in chaos. The white allows me peace. Finally, I begin to see relationships.  The women, the birds, the flowers and the fruit – they frame each other.  They form an unnerving feminine argument, something about beauty and maybe something about fear. I am not completely sure. I begin to like the way I don’t understand.


Discovery is like this for me.  Discovery is a step into something new, something previously unknown.  Discovery is a willingness to recognize one’s own ignorance, but also an opportunity to make one’s self more complete.   Discovery is what makes me hold my breath, but also what makes me want to breathe.


As I pursue discovery, I want it to look like this collage.  I want it to aggravate me into action.  I want it to be messy but precise, eclectic but connected.  When I look at this collage, I see something each time that was not clear before -- part of a word, a lone feather, a bicycle wheel – and this makes me see the art in a new way.  That is what I want in my life – for each discovery to inspire another.


I love collage art. If I had known that one could choose collage artist as a career, we might have one less English teacher in the world! I am so drawn to the relationships between the pieces and the unity that comes from a jumble of "random" images. That's life. All these pieces, all these moments -- scraps of assorted colors, pictures, words, and patterns -- they somehow stitch together and become our days and our memories. And when we look back at them, we see meaning, even if we did not see it at the time. It makes me feel okay about not understanding every little thing that happens. I can hold out hope that eventually the moment will find its way into the photomontage of my life and that when arranged with all of the other moments I didn't understand, there will be beauty and truth.



PS: I wrote my first "teacher" post at my new site, A Thicket and Bramble Wilderness. If you want to know more about the nitty-gritty of my teaching practice, check it out!

"The World Depends On Saying"

Whether it is one little word or an entire speech, the power of language continues to move me.

Last week, I shared the One Little Word concept with my students and asked them to choose words for themselves.  A difficult task for some, but later in the week when I had students create "rationale cards" depicting their words and explaining why they had been chosen, I was reassured that this was a valuable exercise.  Most of them were quite conscientious and sincere as they shared the motivations and hopes that guided their selections.  Words like balance, passion, trust, horizons, courage and explore revealed the vision they have of their 2011, the year they graduate high school and begin to live the lives they have dreamed. Even my principal has joined in the fun.  He wrote about making his OLW choice on his blog and in doing so communicates to my students that words are important, they have power in our lives.  Plus, his kind words for me always give me the courage to keep learning and growing.

The power of language is not always demonstrated through positive circumstances, though. 

The safety of the world depends on your saying ‘no’ to inhumane ideas. Standing up for one’s own integrity makes you no friends. It is costly. Yet defiance of the mob, in the service of that which is right, is one of the highest expressions of courage I know. -- Gabrielle Giffords

These words were spoken by Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords in her 2009 commencement address to her alma mater (and mine), Scripps College.  I shared them with many of my students on Monday morning following the tragic shooting in Arizona.  What struck me, in addition to the truth of her statement, was that she spoke these words without knowing that in less than a year and a half, her life would be defined by them.  From the Scripps webpage to the news coverage to Twitter, these are the words we keep coming back to for a sense of who Ms. Giffords is. And in this precarious time, as Gabby fights to heal, and the hearts of those who lost loved ones break and begin to heal as well, words continue to be important.  On the Scripps College website, a Letters for Gabby page has been established so that people can send their thoughts to her in a forum that inevitably allows for us all to be encouraged. 


I try to push my students to harness the power of language to represent the truth of who they are.  We need to be careful about the words we choose, but we also need to be willing to put ourselves into words, to communicate with honesty the truth of who we are.  When we do this, we impact others -- we support, we inspire, we matter.



Though the situation is tragic, Gabrielle Giffords's words of conviction have already become woven into the fabric of our country's history.  The One Little Words my students and I have chosen have already become woven into the fabric of our personal histories. Language does that; it lives in us.  It can move an entire nation and a single heart.  Words can keep a woman breathing.  I know.

One Little Word 2011

When I read about One Little Word on the Two Writing Teachers blog, I knew I had to participate.  I did a bit of research and checked out the blog of Ali Edwards who started OLW.  I skimmed through the comments to her most recent post on the topic and found the variety of choices inspiring, yet overwhelming.

One word?? Only one?? So many came to mind -- beauty, truth, design, look, complete, move -- how could I pick?? But choose (or allow myself to be chosen) I did.

My OLW for 2011 is discover.  You'll hear more about it soon!  If you decide to choose a word, let me know what ya pick!  I'm sure I'll be jealous that I didn't choose it, too, but it'll be fun to see and follow what you do.