2013 Come and Gone

Another entire year passed with only two blog posts.  I wonder if I should even continue to have this blog when it obviously gets neglected.  The busyness of my work and my family certainly contributes to the infrequency of posting, but I also wonder if there is still purpose here.

Upon returning tonight, I see there is. If for no one else but myself. I read posts from years ago and marvel that so little has changed or, the very opposite, I read and question, was that really me? And something tells me that whenever we are brave enough to share our story, the world is better for it.

So, as 2013 comes to a close, I have been searching for my new One Little Word. Over the past few years I have selected discover, reach, and courage. Each of those words came to play a significant role in my thinking and feeling for that year, so I wanted to be careful and sincere as I chose the OLW for 2014.  I have decided on cultivate and I cannot tell you how thrilled I am about it.  Already it has given me a fresh perspective and made me take some bold steps in new directions.

I love that cultivate combines the optimism of creation with the reality of discipline.  To cultivate requires a plan, a vision for what could be.  It also requires work, the action to move that vision from dream to reality.  There is an earthiness to the word as it connotes nature, gardening, farming, growing something of use and beauty.  And there is also a sense of industry, tools and science being utilized to achieve the best results.

It is also the opposite of neglect.

As I take on this word, I am eager to decide exactly what I want to cultivate in my life, what it will take to make that happen and what it will produce in my life and the lives of others.

Anyone else choosing a One Little Word this year?

A Thicket and Bramble Wilderness

I promised new stuff soon and here it is!  Soon, right?  Funny thing is, the something new is actually nothing new here, but something new somewhere else. That sounded a bit confusing; let me explain:  I have been maintaining a class blog for about three years now -- a place to list assignments, describe what we did in class in case kids were absent, store handouts, provide links to helpful resources, etc.  Recently, however, my school district has adopted School Loop, a communications system which will meet all of the needs I have for a class site.  Therefore, my previous class site (MrsElliott.net) was days away from becoming irrelevant and unnecessary, which caused me some pangs of sadness. Grief, perhaps?  But then, I noticed a post on The EC Ning from a teacher interested in collaborating with other teachers to create a group blog entitled 101 English Blogs.  Intrigued, I sent the founder an email.  I wasn't sure that More Than I Should Bear was really an "English blog" since I cover all sorts of topics besides teaching.  So, I decided that my contribution to 101 English Blogs could be a blog strictly about my teaching practice, and now that the mrselliott.net space is available, I created my new blog there with a new title, "A Thicket and Bramble Wilderness".  The new blog (as if I can even keep up with this one!) will feature specific lessons, activities, assignments and experiences from my classroom.  I am excited about this new endeavor and hope it challenges me and strengthens me just as More Than I Should Bear has.  Wish me luck!

Green-Eyed Blogger

I usually consider myself a content woman.  I adore my family.  My job is incredibly satisfying.  I am spoiled by the more-often-than-not gorgeous Southern California weather. I end most days with a perfectly sweetened cup of freshly-brewed coffee and the daisy-print comforter my husband bought for me (and willingly sleeps under!) makes me smile. Mine is a good life and I actively work at appreciating it.

But lately, tiny pangs of jealousy have begun to taunt me.  I ignored them at first, hoped that with time, they would go away. But as I sat down tonight, intending to compose my next post, I realized it was time to admit the problem I am having.

I have blog envy.

I keep adding more and more blogs to my Reader, each with its own widget or gadgets, backgrounds or layouts, engaging voice or thought-provoking content.  And with each add, my envy grows.  I find myself wishing I was doing more -- that I had something more substantial to say or more amazing photographs to share or wittier banter to enlighten and entertain. 

It's silly, really. Why should I care what other blogs look like or what incredible insights they reveal?  Shouldn't I just accept my own blog and appreciate it for what it is?

But I think if we are honest, most of us do this with something in our lives.  Someone else's body, someone else's money, someone else's charisma?  And maybe we even justify it and think, what's the harm?  Why shouldn't I want what someone else has?  Shouldn't I strive for more and better?

For me, the difference lies in what is motivating our desire. If we want more because it will allow us to be more loving, more giving individuals, then the desire is good.  But if the desire comes from a need to be better than others or to bring pleasure to self only, we have crossed into covetousness. And the harm comes in the dissatisfaction it brings to the blessings we already enjoy.  We should not desire another person's spouse because it will blind us to the gifts of our own spouse.  We should not envy someone else's success because it will blind us to the success in our own lives, making us unable to fulfill our real purpose.

So, my blog envy?  Spending too much time focusing on what other bloggers are doing that I am not blinds me to the strengths of my own blog.  Instead, I need to turn that envy into inspiration. Maybe too much time drooling over other blogs has left me with less time and energy to make mine what it really could be.

Or maybe my little blog is all that it will ever be and I need to love it for that and for what I learn about myself and others by doing it.

Either way, I think I can add More Than I Should Bear to the list of good things in my life --right after that perfect cup of coffee and just before the daisy bed.