Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Sometimes We Have to Stretch (SOLSC Day 7)

There are nights when I wish my arms could hold all my boys at the same time. Instead, I end up feeling too small to be a momma. I can't protect my guys from all bad things, I know that. But tonight I needed to protect them from a good thing. Two of the boys and my husband are involved with Kung Fu and tonight, the younger if the two sons earned a sash higher than his older brother. I know I am not the only parent who has faced this, but until now, the family hierarchy had never been upset and although eventually all was fine, it was a challenge to balance enjoying one son's elation while mending the other son's wounded pride. Since my arms aren't long enough to hold them all together and love them so hard that they have to let go of any negative feelings, instead I had to hold them each on their own and whisper whatever they needed to hear: "Work hard and you will reach your goals," "I am so proud of you!" "I love you no matter what," "You are lucky to have your brother," "Thank you for being kind," and "I am always here for you." Until my arms grow, my words will have to do.

12 comments:

Missy Gink said...

I loved your opening sentence, "There are nights when I wish my arms could hold all my boys at the same time". I know how you feel...then "instead you hold them each on their own". Wise words that will definitely help me with my situation.

maria.selke said...

Oh, I hear this! My own boys are two years apart, and have distinctly different styles. They are both taking fencing, and I know there will be days when the younger will beat the older... And fencing won't be the only time (the younger is more competitive and persistent by nature)

Thank you for this vignette.

Terje (grade4wizard) said...

Holding one by one or all together, either way the boys will grow and learn to hold you when you need it the most.

Lynn said...

I loved this!!! THe words and feelings are so true... unfortunately this may not be the first but I'm sure your sons will always get through it with your love and support!

Tara said...

So sweet! You found special words for each of them.

Julie said...

One of the most touching pieces I've read yet. Thank you for sharing.

Kristen said...

I love the line, "Since my aren't long enough to hold them all together and love them so hard that they have to let go of any negative feelings." My feelings exactly!

Kat said...

Oh, I recognize myself and my children in this. What a beautiful way to express something that is so difficult.

Bets's Blog said...

Such an honest piece about the difficulties that can arise when parenting. Your arms might not grow, but there's will and they can hang onto you too!

Jen said...

It's the struggle to build that family bond and community. We want to teach them to support each other. You are doing that with your boys and family!

stephanie elliott said...

Thank you all for the kind words, encouragement and empathy!

doubledoublez said...

This is a beautiful image. Of a loving mother who wishes to extend her arms out to her sons. It most likely is inpossible to ever grow arms that wide, however, as a son myself I always know that though I love my family and want them near, there are times when i need only my mothers embrace to make things better. I think you handled that extremelywell, as I gauged it to how I would have felt if it'd been me in that situation.

-Matt Visk